Life lately has been quite different. I briefly mentioned at the end of January that I was let go from my job; a career I’d had pretty high hopes for and had put a lot of work into. Things like this are expected when you work for large corporations I guess, and I was one of several hundred let go that day….it made front page news of the Toronto Star, so thats pretty cool. Anyways, my month of unemployed life has been weird and surely has been a roller coaster.
Firstly, the lows. I don’t think anyone could ever be let go from a job (whether a deserved firing, or a mass layoff) and feel good about themselves. It shakes your confidence down to the core; makes you feel that, even though they let go of a few hundred people and your hard work was recognized, you still must have done something wrong. I really struggled with the knowledge that other people in my same position got to stay and I had to go. My first week of unemployment was filled with sobbing, binge eating, and panic attacks. I’d never been unemployed, going from student to corporate employee with only three days in between. I didn’t know what to do with myself. My entire future, all the plans I had, were halted and changed completely due to one individuals decision. I struggled…thats for sure. I’d be lying if I said I got over it fast. I truthfully think now, exactly a month later, I’ve gotten over it. I’ve come to realize I’m in a much better place and I have endless opportunities ahead of me.
Secondly, the roller coaster highs. The realizations that you have a completely free schedule for the foreseeable future. For someone who had very little free-time and was constantly travelling for work, this was an amazing realization. I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I could make plans with friends on weekends, I could promise to attend a party and not have to back out at the last minute! I had my life back. And of course the chance to go on vacation on a whims notice (thanks Mom, I had so much fun in Mexico).
Then there is somewhere in the middle. The endless days of online job searching. The stress and anxiety over whether or not you’ll find something. And of course the nerves of interviews and stuff. But it’s absolutely exhilarating that at 23 I get to start a new career. I’m looking to do something completely different, something I’m passionate about and where I can stretch my creativity and enjoy myself! Not many people get that opportunity in their careers, and at such a young age I’ll get to dip my toes in quite a few different industries with successful careers. I have endless opportunities ahead of me and I couldn’t be happier with that thought.
So now that I’m a full month into this new chapter of my life, I finally feel that I’m happy. I certainly hope that it’s a short chapter and that I can start the next one quite soon but I’m quite confident that I’ll find something that makes me happy, even if I have to wait awhile to find it. Have any of you ever been in a position like this? How did you feel?