Happy 2017 everyone!! Seeing as this is prime time for reflection, I started looking back on the year of 2016. Where I started, what has changed, where I find myself now. It’s certainly been a year of ups and downs. I’ve found immense happiness in my newfound determination in the gym (albeit falling out of sorts over the past month) as well as the happiness found with the one I love! After five years together we are engaged!! And I certainly can’t wait for the coming year of wedding planning (stay tuned here for many wedding related posts). But with all the ups there have certainly been some downs and I think I can confirm that overall, 2016 was not the bright and cheerful year it was meant to be.
2016 was a year of internal frustrations. I spent as much time as possible over the past year trying to figure myself out; what I want, who I am, where I want to go. Yet I seemed to hit many more bumps in the road than the smooth sailing I had expected. I’ve struggled with decisions about my career, about my future, and even about this blog! And all the while I struggled with these decisions I’ve also had a tough year struggling with some anxiety and depression. Yes, I’m not afraid to say it. I don’t believe in those stigmas. And now, at the end of one year and the beginning of another, I feel like I haven’t come to any conclusions, nor have I come any closer to figuring myself out than I was over six months ago.
With regards to my blog, the more I tried to write something the harder it became. I quickly realized that what had started as a passion of mine had become a main contributor of my stress. So I quit cold-turkey. I even considered completed shutting down this space and deleting it’s presence on the web. My amazing friends and family pointed out that I’d regret it, and of course, they were right. I needed to give myself and break and think about what I wanted to write about. Was this for me or for you? In the end, of course, I’ve come to realize this is for me. I don’t care what readers think. I write it because I want to and whether people read it or not I couldn’t give two….So I’ve refocused. I’ll keep writing about what my heart desires. I’m so excited to start some wedding planning over the next few months and maybe, just maybe, I’ll use this space to keep my thoughts and plans straight as I plan the most important and exciting day of my life!
I may have been down over the last few months. I may have had a rough 2016, being hard on myself and having high expectations in life. I may have scrapped by through stress induced days of work and restless nights. But with that behind me I venture forth with a determination to go with the flow, to relax, and to roll with the punches. So here’s to a happy 2017! I don’t need to figure myself out, or my life. I just need to live in the moment and enjoy everything around me.