We all go through problems within our lives, and a lot of them end up being from our love life – especially a marriage. There are always ups and down, but sometimes you may find yourself drowning in all of the bad. From this, we begin questioning whether the actions and choices we make are the rights ones. We start thinking whether we made a mistake in the partner we chose to spend the rest of our lives with, and that’s an awful feeling to have. You are supposed to be in love – so what happened?
If you find yourself going through this, it’s important that you know there are options. You don’t need to give up – not yet. You made a promise to one another that you would stick together for better or for worse, so your marriage deserves the chance to be repaired.
Here’s how you can do that.
You may often hear about how communication is the key – but it really is. How can you ever expect a marriage to survive if you aren’t able to speak to one another openly and honestly? Sure, the truth hurts sometimes, but it’s also needed in order to fully understand how the other person feels. You or your partner may be doing something that you never realised you were, only to finally communicate and see the neglect they have been feeling, or the lack of affection. Remember that with communication comes listening skills. It’s no good your partner pouring their heart out to you, only to have you barely pay any attention. It goes both ways, so be brave and respect one another’s thoughts, feelings and emotions.
A lot of you may feel as though you don’t need a stranger coming into your private affairs, but a marriage and family therapist aren’t there to meddle, they are there to help you, and admitting that you need help is probably one of the hardest things you can do – accepting it is the second. Therapy works because you get to have a professionally qualified person evaluate the situation from the outside in. They will be able to see things that you both can’t, without taking sides. This can give you a real insight as to where the real issue is and how you can both go about making it better.
You all know the phrase “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”, so while you may think that distance right now will only make things worse – it may also do you the world of good. You may not realise how much you miss the person until they’re not by your side every single day. Missing someone is a good thing, it shows you what your true feelings were all along, so try taking a break from one another for a while. Having said that, it may also confirm that things just aren’t what they used to be. You might see that you function better without them, and as painful as this may be, it might be what you needed in order to let them go.