Let’s pick up where we last left off. You may have noticed from many of my posts that my life has been stressful and hectic, yet I’m really doing nothing but working. From my previous “Life Lately” posts you will know that I started a new job back in November and moved across the GTA to live closer to the city. And after 5 long months, with really nothing else occupying my time but work, I thought it was time for another check in. It’s crazy how fast time is flying. It seems like it stands still some days, especially when I work 12 hour shifts, but I’m truly amazed that it’s already April! Reflecting back, I’m ashamed that I’ve done nothing and achieved nothing so far this year. There are just not enough hours in the day.
So with a lack of updates from the past few months, it’s time to look forward, for there is a lot coming up within the next year. My life has seemed so transitional and hectic for the past year, maybe even a bit longer. Nothing seems to be settling. Every time we seem happy something big seems to change. We’ve lost jobs, started new jobs, moved a large distance, been happy, been unhappy, and coming up over the next 8 months we are basically looking at nothing but work work work and another move coming as our landlord just informed us we can only stay until November. It’s just one stress after the other.
We’ve been trying to adult ourselves; looking into house prices to move on with our life and settle with an investment. I almost threw up when I found a one bedroom, one bathroom, semi-detached for sale down the street that was ¾ of a million dollars?! Are you effing kidding me? I was listening to the radio recently and there was a study done saying that our generation doesn’t find home ownership as important. NO, that’s not it. It’s that we realize we’ll never be able to afford a home so we’ve given up on that dream. Fortunately I’m in a stable job and won’t be looking for another job again, but unfortunately that job will keep me in the GTA for life, struggling to afford rising house prices and attempting to find investments elsewhere I guess.
Maybe I’m trying to grow up too fast. I’ve got plenty of time to sit tight, work my butt off, and save all the money I can. We all just want things so quickly, don’t we. Maybe I can think a little smaller? Like a vacation? That’s doable right? Something to pick me up from this mood that’s been hanging heavy over me for the past three months. Life lately just moves so fast. I haven’t had a chance to stop and appreciate all that’s around me.
What have you been doing lately?
Let’s pick up where we last left off. The longer it lasted the harder it got; the unpredictable, constant disappointment of job searching and unemployment. Corey jokes that it was a rough three months for him (since he had to deal with me), but seriously it was harder for me than I showed. That may seem hard for those around me, seeing as I was pretty gosh darn difficult to live with, but it did something to me mentally. My sister often jokes that I need counselling, and I got to the point that I actually considered it. Deep down I knew it was entirely situational, so I stuck with it; struggled but strived.
And here I am!! I feel like I’m 11 years old and I just got my letter in the mail (yup I went there. Anyone? Anyone?). What I’m trying to say is that I was thrilled and excited to finally receive a job offer. And it’s a big girl, business attire, commute into the city job! I have my own desk in downtown Toronto, literally in the middle of Yonge and Dundas Square – a proud moment. I won’t get into details about a business type job that I’m sure will bore you to tears, but I’m thrilled and super happy to finally be doing something I actually want to do. My struggles, self-doubt and all-over feeling of negativity towards myself have indeed been lifted. See….I told ya it was situational (excuse me as I scold myself for being silly).
After two weeks of the job, I’m still not sure I’m used to the commute. I knew that would be a tough thing to get used to. From where I live it’s 5 minute drive to the train station, an hour on the train into the city, then either a 3 minute subway ride to the office, or the 20 minute walk that I always opt for. So a hearty hour and a half commute. The mornings don’t seem that bad – I’m an early riser and a morning person – but the evenings are killer when I just want to get home after a long day. But I’m sure it will just take a few more weeks for me to adapt. I’ve slowly been re-jigging my gym schedules so that I don’t neglect it completely. I’ve generally been exhausted, but I’m pushing myself to go at least three times a week still. Now if I could only find and invest in a good pair of shoes that are attractive, work appropriate, and won’t give me blisters!! My poor feet.
I’m so thrilled to be out of that rut. I would love to just forget about the last three months, but the tough and amazing things I learned from it all are not easily forgotten. I can’t wait to see what the next few months, and hopefully years, have in store for me in this new life!! I can’t stop smiling. I want to thank all of you who sent me lovely comments and words of encouragement over the past three months, you guys are the best!
Life lately has been quite different. I briefly mentioned at the end of January that I was let go from my job; a career I’d had pretty high hopes for and had put a lot of work into. Things like this are expected when you work for large corporations I guess, and I was one of several hundred let go that day….it made front page news of the Toronto Star, so thats pretty cool. Anyways, my month of unemployed life has been weird and surely has been a roller coaster.
Firstly, the lows. I don’t think anyone could ever be let go from a job (whether a deserved firing, or a mass layoff) and feel good about themselves. It shakes your confidence down to the core; makes you feel that, even though they let go of a few hundred people and your hard work was recognized, you still must have done something wrong. I really struggled with the knowledge that other people in my same position got to stay and I had to go. My first week of unemployment was filled with sobbing, binge eating, and panic attacks. I’d never been unemployed, going from student to corporate employee with only three days in between. I didn’t know what to do with myself. My entire future, all the plans I had, were halted and changed completely due to one individuals decision. I struggled…thats for sure. I’d be lying if I said I got over it fast. I truthfully think now, exactly a month later, I’ve gotten over it. I’ve come to realize I’m in a much better place and I have endless opportunities ahead of me.
Secondly, the roller coaster highs. The realizations that you have a completely free schedule for the foreseeable future. For someone who had very little free-time and was constantly travelling for work, this was an amazing realization. I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I could make plans with friends on weekends, I could promise to attend a party and not have to back out at the last minute! I had my life back. And of course the chance to go on vacation on a whims notice (thanks Mom, I had so much fun in Mexico).
Then there is somewhere in the middle. The endless days of online job searching. The stress and anxiety over whether or not you’ll find something. And of course the nerves of interviews and stuff. But it’s absolutely exhilarating that at 23 I get to start a new career. I’m looking to do something completely different, something I’m passionate about and where I can stretch my creativity and enjoy myself! Not many people get that opportunity in their careers, and at such a young age I’ll get to dip my toes in quite a few different industries with successful careers. I have endless opportunities ahead of me and I couldn’t be happier with that thought.
So now that I’m a full month into this new chapter of my life, I finally feel that I’m happy. I certainly hope that it’s a short chapter and that I can start the next one quite soon but I’m quite confident that I’ll find something that makes me happy, even if I have to wait awhile to find it. Have any of you ever been in a position like this? How did you feel?